My Journey to Attachment Theory + God: The Backstory

On Bridging Faith, Philosophy, and Spiritual Formation

All this neuroscience and attachment theory…
All this stuff about spiritual formation…
And polyvagal theory and being trauma-informed…

how did I get here?

That’s what I’ve often wondered over the last 5+ years.

I was called to be a pastor in my youth, and then I started teaching theology and culture in my 30s. But all this other stuff seemed pretty off topic in my 40s.

And now we just launched the Center for Embodied Faith.

What happened in between?

Here’s the backstory.

The short story is this:

While praying about whether I was wasting all my time reading Dan Siegel, Stephen Porges, Allan Schore, Pat Ogden, and many others, I just got this response from Jesus:

“I’m excited about what you are excited about. And isn’t this exciting to learn about?”

And that was definitely enough for me in the moment.

So I wrote this card to remind me.

Below is the longer backstory of how I’ve been building bridges between faith, philosophy, and spiritual formation (I didn’t even really know how it all fit together until I did some coaching around my life’s work and life calling with Jon Hand—I highly recommend him).

So, here are some of the highlights on the journey to starting the Center for Embodied Faith.

Finding My Way: From Fundamentalism to Philosophy

Growing up in a fundamentalist Christian home in California shaped my early faith journey. I was raised with a strong belief in scripture and individual evangelism. But it wasn't until my late teens that I discovered a new part of faith—the power of intellectual engagement—through the writings of C.S. Lewis and Francis Schaeffer (shout out to He Is There and He Is Not Silent). They introduced me to a faith that not only withstands philosophical scrutiny but thrives within it. They set the stage for a lifelong passion to integrate deep belief with intellectual exploration. And I’m sure they influenced by decision to study philosophy for my undergrad degree.

Embarking on Academic and Personal Paths

Majoring in philosophy at a public university was challenging and enriching. And it started shifting me out of the fundamentalism of my youth into the broader stream of faith. Engaging with postmodern philosophy in the ‘90s ended up laying a great foundation for me (a kind of inoculation or vaccine against the faith-destroying deconstruction).

I also studied with the now-famous philosopher of the mind, David Chalmers, who instilled in me not to believe anyone who thinks they have totally figured out the mind and consciousness (he is known for his “hard problem of consciousness” view). As a side note: This same posture is what I find so refreshing about Dan Siegel’s work—he is confident about what he knows, but doesn’t claim to know everything.

Looking back, being intrigued by the philosophy and theology of the mind/consciousness is not too far afield from interpersonal neurobiology and attachment theory. So the seeds were planted early.

After getting married to Cyd in 2000, and because I felt called to be a pastor at a young age, we moved to Chicago, where I got an M.Div from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. And skipping a lot, in 2007, I started my PhD at Marquette University and ended up writing on the philosophy and theology of Hegel and Augustine.

Awkward photo of me at my mission control desk.

Stumbling into Relational Neuroscience

Over the years, experiences outside academic life—like being a local church pastor and becoming a father—began showing me that I had more relational and maturity gaps than I thought (big shocker!). What I needed was a more integrated faith that connects the head and the heart, mind and emotions.

And that’s when Cyd started learning about the work of Karl Lehman, which also led to Jim Wilder, and others. I quickly followed suit and started learning about relational circuits, the joy switch, and the social engagement system in the brain. We started introducing joy and gratitude practices in our pastoral ministry, and I started incorporating all this stuff into my seminary teaching (this eventually became our first book, Does God Really Like Me?: Discovering the God Who Wants to Be With Us.

And then a new chapter unfolded as I ventured deeper into interpersonal neurobiology and neuroscience by reading Dan Siegel’s The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are and Iain McGilchrist’s The Master and His Emissary: The Divided Brain and the Making of the Western World. After that it was Allan Schore, Stephen Porges, Pat Ogden, and many others. This journey opened up a world where the intersection of faith and relational neuroscience could inform spiritual growth and discipleship.

And from Dan Siegel, I learned the centrality of attachment for the development of our neural and spiritual lives.

Embracing Attaching to God: A Unified Mission

At the end of 2023, I started having conversations with Jon Hand (my coach at the time) that helped me see a cohesive thread running through my work: making faith comprehensible through diverse lenses such as philosophy, theology, and psychology. And the thread that gathered them all together was attaching to God—the integration of human longings for connection and God’s work of salvation.

So, at the end of 2023, I was able to articulate the knot that binds all my interests, passions, concerns, and hopes for the church together: That churches would be formed into a secure attachment with God so that we can offer love and hope to the world.

Looking Forward: The Center for Embodied Faith

The newly launched Center for Embodied Faith is a culmination of all these past paths: philosophy, apologetics, theology, spiritual formation, and relational neuroscience.

And right at the center is connecting attachment theory and spiritual formation so that we can all deepen our attachment to God, and so we can form communities of secure attachment.

All of this is why the focus of the Center is to create…

• Attachment-based

• Relational-focused

• Jesus-centered

…resources to grow spiritual and emotional health in the church.

If any of this resonates with you…

There are two things you can do:

• Pick up our new book: Landscapes of the Soul: How the Science and Spirituality of Attachment Can Move You into Confident Faith, Courage, and Connection

• Support us with a one-time or regular gift of $50 or more a month (giving link).